VIN 21- Self-Mold

Stop telling others what you believe is good for them. Unless they are utterly lost and alone, nothing one can say or do to another in said situation, is going to turn out anything like you desire.

For instance, telling someone how to be a writer– or what makes them one, is not your job. In most cases, Humans self-define. Most often, as a result of the trial and error in understanding one’s self, environment, or society. Certainly, some things are defined for us, but those definitions are most often limited and circumstantial. That is, the result of uncontrollable mechanisms like genetics, socio-economics, or geography, even world events and abridged, rather than comprehensive.

None of that changes the aforementioned: people decide for themselves whom and what they are, and in most cases, how to go about making the most of that. None of that is anymore another’s business than the color of your underwear– or indeed, if you’re wearing any.

And that goes doubly for you as well: Do unto others…

However, if you feel the need to help someone you still can. The best way to do so is by listening, reflecting, being for another how you would wish them to be for you, were your positions reversed.

No pushing. No bludgeoning. No perceived realities. Rather, in your mind simulate as near to their reality as possible so as to understand the differences, changes, and how best to help or avoid them. Because otherwise, it is your reality, a result of your trials and experiences, not theirs. While it can be helpful, often it is detrimental.

Let others define themselves, or stay away from them. Otherwise, you may be doing more harm then good. And the same goes for you: let not others mold you, but rather help you to understand how best to mold yourself.

But then again, who am I to tell anyone what to do?